Contributing Writer – Jason Mayo
When I first got sober, one thought haunted me: life was going to be boring. For 25 years, I drank and used drugs to self-medicate, socially lubricate, and amplify every experience. I couldn’t imagine doing anything fun, professional, or even mundane without alcohol or drugs.
How was I going to take clients out without drinking a vodka and Diet Coke? How could I go to a Rangers game without vodka Red Bulls and a pocketful of Percocets? What about metal shows, weddings, BBQs, or holiday parties? Even funerals seemed impossible to attend without a gin and tonic in hand. And let’s not forget—how would I ever make a toast at my daughters’ weddings or the kiddush at my future grandkids’ bar mitzvahs? (Okay, maybe I was getting ahead of myself, but you get the point.)
For decades, alcohol and drugs had been my go-to tools to navigate the highs and lows of life. I couldn’t fathom doing any of it sober. And worse, I feared I’d be awkward, unfunny, and painfully self-conscious without them.
At first, I wasn’t wrong.
Sobriety felt uncomfortable, even unbearable at times. Social situations were a minefield. I felt less funny, less confident, and more exposed. Panic attacks were my unwelcome plus-one at dinners and events. I spent a lot of time hiding in restaurant bathrooms, whispering the Serenity Prayer like it was a lifeline, or calling my sponsor from the stairwell of Madison Square Garden to talk me off the ledge.
It was awkward. It was hard. But it was also temporary.
Over time, I began to recalibrate my brain and relearn how to live. I had to figure out who I was without the numbing effects of booze and drugs. And when I did, something unexpected happened: my life became anything but boring.
Take Rangers games. They’re more exciting, aka: stressful, now than ever because I can actually remember who scored the winning goal. I traded vodka Red Bulls for Diet Cokes and cheeseburgers—not the healthiest substitution, sure, but at least I could find my way home afterward.
Weddings? I’ve learned how to enjoy them without embarrassing myself on the dance floor. (Although, let’s be honest, that “friends don’t let friends dance sober” line makes sense.)
And concerts—oh, man. Out of everything I associated with drinking, going to metal shows was at the top of my list. I thought I needed beers and joints to truly experience the music. Turns out, I was dead wrong.
Last month, I traveled solo to Atlantic City to see Creed at the Hard Rock. Let me tell you: I hate gambling, I hate traveling, and I hate Atlantic City. But the concert? It was borderline spiritual. Every riff, every scream, every pyrotechnic—it all hit harder and deeper without the haze of alcohol. The music sounded better to my sober ears, even if I had to pee every third song (shoutout to Diet Cokes and being 53).
And then there was last night: Manowar. My childhood metal heroes. I went with my high school buddies; the same crew I saw them with when we were 17. Back then, that show was a blur of Budweiser and mosh pits. Last night? I can recount every note, every lyric, every surge of energy. It felt like being 17 again—but better. Clearer. More electric.
These days, concerts are some of the most memorable, transcendent experiences of my life. I can bang my head without losing my balance, sing every lyric without slurring, and feel the music in a way that’s only possible with a sober mind.
Sobriety didn’t just give me my life back—it gave me a better one. It gave me moments like last night, standing shoulder to shoulder with my friends, fully present, fully alive, and fully grateful that I don’t crave alcohol or drugs anymore.
Fifteen years ago, I couldn’t imagine living sober. Today, I can’t imagine living any other way. Life isn’t boring; it’s loud, vibrant, and beautifully chaotic—kind of like a metal show, but with earplugs and Diet Cokes.
And I can’t wait for the next one.
Jason Mayo is the creator and founder of Sober Not Subtle. He is a certified recovery peer advocate at THRIVE Recovery Community and Outreach Center in New York. Jason currently holds the position of Community Outreach Coordinator of the THRIVE Everywhere Program – a community-based recovery supports program that offers free, non-clinical activities, workshops, and events.
Before working in recovery, Jason was owner and executive producer of award winning visual effects and animation companies in NYC.
He currently writes for The Sober Curator, has been a contributing writer for the Forbes Business Council, creator of the popular Dad blog Out-Numbered, and author of the children’s books, “Do Witches Make Fishes?” and “The Boy and the Billy Goat.”
Jason is passionate about advocating for people living with substance use disorder and mental health issues. His goal is to use humor, creativity, and lived experience to make a positive impact on the world.
Jason has been sober since March 25th, 2010.
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