The Power of Letting Go: Finding Peace in Acceptance

Contributing Writer – Jason Mayo

Letting go. Two simple words, yet they carry so much weight. They sound liberating on the surface, but anyone who’s ever tried to release their grip on something they can’t control knows how much of a struggle it can be. When I started my journey in recovery, I thought I had a handle on what letting go meant. But as I moved forward, I realized it’s something that needs continual practice. There’s always another layer, another situation, another lesson.

One of the hardest things to let go of are the things that we simply can’t control. It’s human nature to want to manage everything around us, to make sure we’re safe, comfortable, and on track. But the truth is, control is often an illusion, and the more we cling to it, the harder it becomes to find any real sense of peace.

The Weight of Holding On

When I was drinking, control felt like a tool I used to try and keep my life from falling apart. I tried to manage my relationships, my job, my emotions—anything that I thought would shield me from the chaos I was creating. But as I’ve learned over the years, clinging to that need for control only brought more chaos.

The thing is, control doesn’t bring certainty; it brings exhaustion. It’s like carrying a bag of stones that only gets heavier with each step. And when we insist on holding onto things we can’t change, we’re just adding weight to that load. Our minds get bogged down with all the “what-ifs,” the regrets, and the fears. We end up consumed with thoughts that do nothing but drain our energy and hold us back.

Accepting the Things We Can’t Change

Acceptance doesn’t mean giving up; it means making peace with what’s beyond our power. In recovery, I’ve come to accept that there are things I cannot control: other people’s actions, the past, certain life circumstances. I can’t control how people feel about me or what they decide to do with their lives. All I can do is control my reaction and how I choose to show up.

When we accept the things we can’t control, we start to open up space in our lives. We make room for new perspectives, new opportunities, and a level of inner peace that can only come from surrender.

Letting Go Is an Act of Courage

Letting go takes courage. It’s one thing to intellectually know you should let go; it’s another to put it into practice. Letting go requires faith, trust, and a leap into the unknown. We don’t know what’s going to happen when we release our grip, and that’s the scariest part.

But here’s the beautiful thing: letting go doesn’t leave us empty. In fact, it often brings us closer to the things we need. It frees us from unnecessary worry, resentment, and fear. When we stop trying to control every detail, we allow life to unfold in a way we might not have expected—but that we often need.

Simple Steps to Practice Letting Go

For anyone who’s in recovery or struggling to let go, here are some steps that help me keep my balance:

1. Acknowledge what’s outside your control. Take a few moments to list the things that are weighing on you. Ask yourself, “Do I actually have control over this?” Often, the answer is “no,” and that’s a powerful realization.
2. Practice mindfulness. The more we’re present in the moment, the less we’re pulled into anxiety about the future or regret about the past. Simple mindfulness practices, like deep breathing or a quick meditation, can help us stay centered.
3. Ask yourself, “What can I control?” Focus on the things that you can influence—your actions, reactions, and attitude.
4. Let it be. Sometimes, the best thing we can do is let things unfold naturally. Remind yourself that you’ve survived difficult times before, and you’ll make it through this too.
5. Seek support. We don’t have to navigate this journey alone. Whether it’s through a recovery group, a trusted friend, or a therapist, sharing our struggles can remind us that we’re not alone and that we’re understood.

Finding Freedom Through Letting Go

Letting go is a lifelong journey. It’s not about abandoning responsibility; it’s about knowing when to release our hold on things that aren’t ours to control. Each time we let go, we move a little closer to freedom, to self-acceptance, and to peace.

If you’re reading this and struggling with control, remember that it’s okay to feel that way. Just take a breath, let go of one small thing today, and remind yourself that you’re exactly where you need to be on this journey.

Letting go isn’t easy, but it’s worth it. It’s in those moments of release that we find our strength and resilience. And each time we let go, we make room for something new—something that just might be what we were searching for all along.

Jason Mayo is the creator and founder of Sober Not Subtle. He is a certified recovery peer advocate at THRIVE Recovery Community and Outreach Center in New York. Jason currently holds the position of Community Outreach Coordinator of the THRIVE Everywhere Program – a community-based recovery supports program that offers free, non-clinical activities, workshops, and events.

Before working in recovery, Jason was owner and executive producer of award winning visual effects and animation companies in NYC.

He currently writes for The Sober Curator, has been a contributing writer for the Forbes Business Council, creator of the popular Dad blog Out-Numbered, and author of the children’s books, “Do Witches Make Fishes?” and “The Boy and the Billy Goat.”

Jason is passionate about advocating for people living with substance use disorder and mental health issues. His goal is to use humor, creativity, and lived experience to make a positive impact on the world.

Jason has been sober since March 25th, 2010.