Guest Contributor – Stephen Kimball
Family and Community. These are two of the fundamental core values. Being a father and family grounds me and guides my life and all of my decisions. But our lives are more than our families. They are also made up of the communities, large and small, in which we exist. For me community is being in relationships with folks on a level that finds common threads and builds connections–tying fatherhood and family to the wider world. With these beliefs always present in my thinking, in the summer of 2022 I spoke with my wife, who is also sober, and discussed how there seemed to be a lack of a space where sober dads could connect, tell their stories, and learn from one another. For the record, I think this is true for all dads, sober or not. But the space I was most interested in exploring was sober dads—whether in recovery or just those who choose to abstain. And Sober Dad Crew was born out of late-night and early-morning planning and conversations. From the start it was a DIY project and still is. I book the guests, record, edit, and post every episode.
In the early episodes, I found each guest. And one guest led to another. What connects the guests, most of whom are fathers, is the willingness to share their stories. I have never met most of the folks who appear on Sober Dad Crew. But they come on and we go deep on a range of topics, but fatherhood, sobriety, and recovery are at the core of all the conversations. I am humbled and grateful for the willingness and trust my guests have shown to me by coming on and discussing some of the most challenging parts of their lives.
There would certainly be no Sober Dad Crew without my family’s encouragement. But also, there wouldn’t be Sober Dad Crew without my sobriety story. Nearly 15 years ago I made a decision that fundamentally changed the trajectory of my life. On February 10, 2010, I chose sobriety. I was tired of carrying the weight of an unhealthy relationship with alcohol. I had come to understand that the one glass of wine had turned into two. And the two had often turned into three. Everyday. I guess some folks would call that gray area drinking. But for me, I had a problem drinking—substance use disorder. It was negatively impacting my relationships and parenting. The decision was very clear. No more alcohol. Ever.
For many years only those closest to me knew I was sober. I was pretty quiet about it—especially in my professional life. At work, I was worried about being judged for being in recovery. I’ve found, especially in professional settings, people often do make assumptions and judgments about my decision not to drink. This fact made me concerned about being judged as a person in recovery and that I might be considered a potential liability. This fear was intensified by the fact that I was a single parent with 2 kids for most of this time. And I was too scared to think that if my sobriety became public my ability to keep my job and provide for my family was at risk.
As the years went on, I became more and more comfortable with being public about my choice and that choosing sobriety is about making a healthy decision for myself and my family. And more comfortable realizing that I have the responsibility to recover out loud so that others may recover.
And out of all this, Sober Dad Crew was born.
I now count my days of sobriety in the thousands. But the one thing I know to be true is that everyone has a first day. And one of the ways we make it to the thousands of days is with community and honesty. By sharing stories of sobriety and recovery, I hope that Sober Dad Crew plays a part in folks going day by day, doing the next right thing, and showing that there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel.
Sober Dad Crew is a podcast focused on sobriety, recovery, fatherhood, parenting, music, food, tattoos, & more. The mission of Sober Sad Crew is to share stories of sobriety and recovery and show there’s always a light at the end of the tunnel. Sober Dad Crew is an independent, DIY production created by Stephen Kimball who writes, records, and produces the podcast.
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