Founder and Contributing Writer – Jason Mayo
There’s a line in the Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous that’s stuck with me for years: “Alcohol is but a symptom of our problem.” It’s one of those truths that feels simple on the surface but cuts deep the longer you sit with it. For many of us in recovery, alcohol—or drugs, or food, or whatever else we use to cope—wasn’t the whole story. It was just the way we tried to outrun the deeper pain.
The problem? That deeper pain doesn’t magically go away when you stop drinking.
For years, I was self-medicating with alcohol and painkillers. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I’d been living with depression long before I ever picked up a drink. Looking back, it makes sense—always feeling out of place, that low hum of sadness that never seemed to go away and looking in the mirror and wondering, “Why can’t I do this!”. But like so many others, I didn’t have the language for it. Depression wasn’t something we talked about, especially as a man. You just dealt with it—or drank over it.
When I got sober, I thought that alone would fix everything. And sure, getting sober was incredible—it gave me a chance to rebuild my life. But sobriety didn’t magically cure my depression or anxiety. If anything, it magnified it. Suddenly, I was left with all these feelings I’d been numbing for years. That’s when I had to face the reality of my mental health for the first time.
The Deadly Intersection of Mental Health and Addiction
The truth is, substance use disorder and mental health challenges like depression and anxiety often go hand in hand. According to research, a significant percentage of people struggling with addiction also have underlying mental health issues. Not surprisingly, people with mental health conditions are at a much higher risk of developing a substance use disorder. It’s a vicious cycle: the substance becomes a way to cope with the mental health issue, but over time, it worsens the very thing you’re trying to escape from.
Professionals call this combination, co-occurring disorders—can be a deadly one. Untreated depression or anxiety makes it harder to maintain sobriety, and untreated addiction makes it nearly impossible to address mental health. It’s not always black and white, either. For some of us, the lines blur so much that it’s hard to know where one ends and the other begins.
Facing My Own Mental Health After Sobriety
For me, addressing my mental health meant finally admitting I needed help. Therapy helped me understand how my depression had shaped so many of my choices, and eventually, I made the decision to try medication. I’ve always said that meds didn’t “fix” me, but they gave me something even better: a clean slate to work from. They quieted the noise enough for me to focus on doing the deeper work—things like identifying my triggers, learning to sit with uncomfortable emotions, and rebuilding my sense of self.
It wasn’t easy. But it was worth it.
Breaking the Cycle: Start with the Next Generation
As critical as it is to improve treatment for co-occurring disorders, prevention is just as important—and it starts with our kids.
A few weeks ago, I spoke to a high school assembly about my experience with addiction and recovery. I wanted to show these kids that it’s okay to talk about these things. So I asked two questions. First, I asked them to raise their hands if they knew someone—a friend, family member, or neighbor—who struggled with drinking or mental health issues. Almost every single hand went up.
Then I asked how many of them thought they personally had a problem with mental health or substance use. Not one hand went up.
That moment hit me hard. It showed me how early the stigma takes hold. Even in a room full of peers who clearly shared the same experiences, these kids didn’t feel safe admitting they might be struggling themselves.
If we want to break the cycle of co-occurring disorders, we have to normalize conversations about mental health and addiction long before they become crises.
Educating Kids About Mental Health and Addiction
Kids need more than warnings about the dangers of drugs or lectures about staying away from alcohol. They need honest, age-appropriate conversations about how mental health and addiction intersect. They need to understand that mental health challenges are common and treatable, that addiction is a disease and not a moral failing, and that asking for help is a sign of strength, not weakness.
We can break the cycle, but it takes action:
1. Lead by Example. Be open about your own struggles and how you’ve worked through them. If kids see adults being honest, they’ll feel safer being honest too.
2. Ask Better Questions. Instead of “How are you?”—a question that often gets a one-word answer—try “What’s been on your mind lately?” or “What’s been stressing you out?”
3. Create Safe Spaces. Make sure kids know they can talk to you or another trusted adult without fear of judgment or punishment.
4. Push for Change in Schools. Schools should be teaching kids about mental health and addiction the same way they teach them math or history.
Why We Need to Talk About Both
It’s not enough to have one big talk and hope it sticks. These conversations need to be ongoing and woven into everyday life. And it’s not just about kids—it’s about adults, too. If we only treat the addiction and ignore the mental health side of the equation, we’re setting people up to fail.
Unfortunately, this is an underserved issue. Too many programs still treat addiction and mental health as separate problems, when in reality, they’re deeply intertwined. We can’t afford to compartmentalize them anymore.
Recovery isn’t just about sobriety—it’s about wholeness. Wholeness means addressing everything that’s holding us back, including our mental health.
Sobriety gave me my life back. Taking care of my mental health helped me truly live it.
Let’s start the conversation—and keep it going. Because the more we talk about these issues, the more hands will go up. And maybe one day, no one will feel the need to stay silent.
If you or someone you know is struggling or looking for help, call the Suicide and Crisis Lifeline at 988 or visit our resource page for some available means of treatment.
Jason Mayo is the creator and founder of Sober Not Subtle and the author of In Case of Emergency, Break Childhood. He is a certified recovery peer advocate at a Recovery Community and Outreach Center in New York.
Before working in recovery, Jason was owner and executive producer of award winning visual effects and animation companies in NYC.
He currently writes for The Sober Curator, has been a contributing writer for the Forbes Business Council, creator of the popular Dad blog Out-Numbered, and author of the children’s books, “Do Witches Make Fishes?” and “The Boy and the Billy Goat.”
When Jason isn’t working or writing, you can find him watching Netflix with his wife or grabbing coffee with one of his two daughters. You might also catch him in his studio playing Fortnite as a Partnered streamer on Twitch.
The coolest thing that ever happened to him as a Dad Blogger was being named to the “25 Dads Who Rock” list published by Working Mother – keeping company with Barak Obama, Jay-Z, Will Smith, Neil deGrasse Tyson, Matthew McConaughey and Brad Pitt.
Jason is passionate about advocating for people living with substance use disorder and mental health issues. His goal is to use humor, creativity, and lived experience to make a positive impact on the world.
Jason has been sober since March 25th, 2010.
👉 In Case of Emergency, Break Childhood: A Gen Xer’s Survival Guide to Anxiety, Addiction, and Accidental Enlightenment is available now in paperback and ebook.
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