Guest Contributor – Anonymous
A friend I know from my professional life and I recently discovered that we got sober around the same time—without even knowing it. So, when this same friend asked me to write this article, I couldn’t say no. And I couldn’t help but reflect on how far I’ve come.
Learning to Pause (Even in a Conference Room)
In early recovery, my life was chaotic. I remember one moment vividly in the spring of 2012: I was in the middle of a big project at work with this same friend, and I ducked into a conference room to call my sponsor because my sister had been hospitalized for a non-life-threatening concern. I was ready to drop everything and run—essentially freaking out and overreacting. I had to be the BIG sister—the great I am!
But my sponsor calmly reminded me to pause, get the facts, not overreact, and to do what was reasonable—advice that AA has taught me over and over since that day. It turned out my sister was okay, surrounded by other family members. I got regular updates, and I got to see her afterward without impacting my obligations. I learned that day I didn’t have to be overly dramatic, emotional, or make it all about me. That moment of pause brought serenity into my life. I’m grateful I was able to take the suggestion.
Responding with Grace, Not Panic
Just recently, another family member was hospitalized—this time it was somewhat life-threatening—and my mother-in-law was in isolation with C. diff. Thanks to the tools I’ve learned day by day, I remained grounded and calm, checked in with my support network, and responded with grace instead of panic. I’m certainly a better patient advocate when I’m not running around with high emotions.
Yes, recovery has taught me to turn it all over to God on a daily basis (sometimes a minute-by-minute basis), because at times the fear and anxiety can be overwhelming. My dad, a 37-year AA member, used to ask my sponsees at my anniversary meetings to wiggle their toes—and they would. Then he’d say, “Now, keep your head above your feet.” When I do that, it keeps me present. That slight movement helps me move a muscle and change a thought.
Is it really that easy to keep it in the day? Well, for me—with that little wiggle of toes, and when I rely on God and AA—it can be easier than when I don’t practice the principles of this simple program.
Faith Over Fear (and Freelance Work)
My latest fear and anxiety has come from being unemployed for the second time in sobriety. And when I turn it over, God provides. Just weeks after being laid off in December 2024, I did my part and started to network (not keeping secrets—because I learned in the rooms of AA that we’re only as sick as our secrets). And I landed a freelance gig that’s been going strong for seven months now!
If I had not been sober, I probably would have drank to oblivion (you know—pouring gasoline on the fire), cried nonstop at my pity party, and missed that freelance opportunity. I’m glad I have a sober solution today. I do the next right thing, trust my Higher Power, and let Him handle it.
I hope this story resonates. And I give my fellow sober-mate full license to edit this piece as he sees fit—another gem from AA: I no longer have as many control issues. It’s refreshing.
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