Contributing Writer – Jason Mayo
Feel that buzz in the air? The Holidays are here.
Twinkling lights are replacing that fall cornucopia, Christmas music is defrosting, and there’s no escaping the festive frenzy. For many, this season conjures up warm feelings of family gatherings, ugly sweaters, and midnight toasts as the ball drops on New Year’s Eve.
But if you’re in recovery, these celebrations can feel like a minefield of triggers:
- “How am I going to survive the Holidays without drinking?”
- “What do I say when someone hands me a glass of champagne on New Year’s Eve?”
- “Is it even possible to have fun sober?”
If you’re asking these questions, you’re not alone.
My First Sober Holiday Season
I was just under a year sober when the Holidays rolled around. It felt like running a marathon I hadn’t trained for.
By then, I had navigated smaller challenges: work events, dinners, and summer BBQs where I white-knuckled my way past the urge to drink. But the Holidays? That was next-level. Between family dynamics, endless parties, and the “everyone else is doing it” pressure, it felt like a perfect storm.
Here’s what I learned: Experience is the best teacher. As time goes by, you gather sober references like a snow boulder rolling down the mountain. The more sober events you get through, the stronger and more confident you’ll feel. And with a little planning, you can make it through the Holidays and even enjoy them—yes, sober fun is real.
Tips for a Sober Holiday and New Year’s Eve
If you’re feeling nervous about staying sober during this celebratory season, here are some strategies that might work for you:
1. Have a Game Plan
The Holidays are full of spontaneous invites and last-minute changes, but when you’re in recovery, a little planning goes a long way:
- Decide in advance which events you’ll attend and which ones you’ll skip.
- Drive yourself or have an exit plan—sometimes stepping away is the best self-care.
- Check in with your sober support network beforehand to ground yourself.
2. Bring Your Own Non-Alcoholic Options
Showing up with a drink in hand makes it easier to avoid the “Why aren’t you drinking?” questions. Some of my favorites:
- Sparkling water
- Fever Tree Ginger Beer (bonus points for tossing in frozen berries)
- NA beers or mocktails—there are a ton of great ones out there now.
3. Focus on the Food
One of the best parts about the Holidays is the food. Treat yourself to all the cookies, pies, and cheese plates without guilt. Sweets can help curb cravings—there’s actual science behind this.
4. Create New Traditions
If drinking used to be part of your Holidays, now’s the time to mix it up. Try:
- Holiday movie marathons (bonus if they’re hilariously bad).
- Game nights with family or friends.
- Volunteering at a local shelter or food pantry—giving back is a powerful way to shift your focus.
- Hosting a sober New Year’s Eve party with board games, music, and ugly holiday sweaters.
5. Prepare Your Responses
You don’t owe anyone an explanation for why you’re not drinking. But having a go-to line can save you from awkward moments:
- “I’m the designated driver tonight.”
- “I’m just taking a break from drinking—feeling great without it.”
- Or, if you’re feeling spicy: “I’m too fun sober. You couldn’t handle it.”
6. Remember: Midnight Is Just a Moment
New Year’s Eve can feel like it revolves around drinking, but it doesn’t have to. Midnight is just one moment in a bigger picture. Focus on the people you’re with, the music, or the chance to reflect on how far you’ve come.
Embracing Gratitude and Clarity
The Holidays are all about connection and gratitude. Sobriety has given me the ability to truly experience this season—not in a blurry haze, but with clarity and presence.
This year, I’ll raise a glass (of ginger beer) to:
- Laughing with family and friends around the dinner table.
- Watching my grown kids open presents that their mother bought them. She takes care of everything.
- Waking up on January 1st without a hangover and feeling good about the year ahead.
Sobriety isn’t about missing out; it’s about showing up—fully. So plan ahead, lean on your support system, and take it one moment at a time. You might just find that a sober Holiday season is the most meaningful one yet.
Happy Holidays, and here’s to a bright, sober New Year!
Jason Mayo is the creator and founder of Sober Not Subtle. He is a certified recovery peer advocate at THRIVE Recovery Community and Outreach Center in New York. Jason currently holds the position of Community Outreach Coordinator of the THRIVE Everywhere Program – a community-based recovery supports program that offers free, non-clinical activities, workshops, and events.
Before working in recovery, Jason was owner and executive producer of award winning visual effects and animation companies in NYC.
He currently writes for The Sober Curator, has been a contributing writer for the Forbes Business Council, creator of the popular Dad blog Out-Numbered, and author of the children’s books, “Do Witches Make Fishes?” and “The Boy and the Billy Goat.”
Jason is passionate about advocating for people living with substance use disorder and mental health issues. His goal is to use humor, creativity, and lived experience to make a positive impact on the world.
Jason has been sober since March 25th, 2010.
Leave a Reply