Founder and Contributing Writer – Jason Mayo
Father’s Day used to mess me up.
Not just because of the complicated layers of my own childhood, or the years I stumbled through fatherhood with one hand on the bottle and the other trying to keep up appearances—but because I didn’t feel like I deserved it. I’d get a handmade card from my kid or a pencil holder or some ugly tie, and instead of feeling proud or grateful, I’d feel like a fraud. I was there, technically. But I wasn’t present. Not really.
That changed the day I got sober.
That first year, I was like a baby deer trying to walk on tile—wide-eyed, twitchy, unsure of how to exist in my own skin, much less show up as a dad. I had to relearn everything: how to listen, how to love without guilt, how to sit with a tantrum (theirs or mine) without needing to numb it all. My kids didn’t need perfection. They needed presence. And for the first time in years, I started giving it to them. Sober. Unearned. But real.
So today, on Father’s Day, I want to say something to the sober dads—and the dads still out there trying to get there:
You matter. Even when you’re not sure you do.
You are seen. Even when you feel invisible.
You are not weak for struggling. You are strong for staying.
Sobriety didn’t make me Superdad. It made me honest.
It made me someone my kids can count on.
Someone who shows up.
Someone who isn’t perfect, but who keeps trying.
And yeah, we talk a lot about moms (rightfully so), but let’s not pretend dads don’t carry our own invisible weight. The pressure to be stoic. To suck it up. To be strong without ever needing help. That story has cost too many men their joy, their families, and their lives.
So here’s to the dads doing the work.
To the dads in therapy.
To the dads in the rooms.
To the dads who apologized.
To the dads who broke the cycle.
To the dads who still hear that old voice whispering “you’re not enough”—and keep going anyway.
This is your day too.
Let’s keep showing our sons what real strength looks like.
Let’s keep teaching our daughters what safety feels like.
Let’s keep proving that a man can be soft and solid at the same time.
Let’s keep healing out loud so other dads know they can too.
Because being a sober dad isn’t just about not drinking.
It’s about being there. Fully. Flawed. And fiercely committed to doing it better than we did yesterday.
Happy Father’s Day, fellas.
We’re not just changing our lives—we’re changing theirs.
Jason Mayo is the creator and founder of Sober Not Subtle. He is a certified recovery peer advocate in New York. Before working in recovery, Jason was owner and executive producer of award winning visual effects and animation companies in NYC.
He currently writes for The Sober Curator, has been a contributing writer for the Forbes Business Council, creator of the popular Dad blog Out-Numbered, and author of the children’s books, “Do Witches Make Fishes?” and “The Boy and the Billy Goat.” His debut memoir, In Case of Emergency, Break Childhood is due out Fall 2025.
Jason has been sober since March 25th, 2010.
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